FUCK THE GRAMMYS

I'M PRETTY SURE THE GRAMMYS ARE THE EMBODIMENT OF EVERYTHING I HAVE COME TO DESPISE ABOUT THE MUSIC INDUSTRY. A FUCKING 3 HOUR AWARD SHOW TO GLORIFY ALREADY ESTABLISHED ARTISTS. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ARTISTS EXIST THAT MAKE MUSIC THAT COULD BE "GRAMMY WORTHY" BUT THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING RECORDING CONTRACT? THIS MARKET..THE RADIO, THESE AWARD SHOWS, ARE SET IN PLACE TO PUSH A SELECT GROUP OF ARTISTS, THE REST HAVE TO PLAY AT THE FUCKING KNITTING FACTORY SOMEWHERE TO PAY THERE HEATING BILL. ELLIOT SMITH NEVER WON A FUCKING GRAMMY. J DILLA NEVER WON A FUCKING GRAMMY. NICKI MANAJ WILL INEVITABELY WIN A GRAMMY TONIGHT..AND INEVITABELY, I WILL JUMP IN FRONT OF A MOVING VEHICLE WHEN IT HAPPENS.FUCK THE GRAMMYS.

I'M A ____!

OK, SO PEOPLE HAVE BEEN BUGGING OUT ON TWITTER WHEN I GET ON THERE AND TELL YOU I'M A TABLE, OR A FUCKING SECRET AGENT OR SOME SHIT..SO I'M INTRODUCING POLLS TO THE BLOG, NOW YOU CAN DECIDE WHAT I REALLY AM! AND IF YOUR TRYING TO BE DIFFICULT BY CLICKING "OTHER" LET ME KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I AM ON THE COMMENTS. THE POLL IS BELOW INCASE YOUR BLIND.

WHAT AM I?

TABLE
MOOSE
COOCHIE
VACUUM
OTHER



VIEW RESULTS

COMFORTABLE SILENCE

Don't you hate that?

- What?

Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?

- I don't know. That's a good question.

That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

YONKERS

FIRST SINGLE OFF TYLER THE CREATOR'S SECOND ALBUM, "GOBLIN". SWAG THEM THE FUCK OUT.

TULSA

"I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1943. When I was sixteen I started shooting amphetamine. I shot with my friends everyday for three years and then left town but I've gone back through the years. Once the needle goes in it never comes out." -Larry Clark

SHOTS FIRED

A CHECK MINUS FOR HAVING CONTENT ON MY SHIT? I CAN ONLY READ ABOUT ____ SO MUCH, OH WAIT, YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO READ ON THAT FUCKING BLOG. AND I SUPPORTED THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR BLOG. I EVEN HAVE YOUR LINK ON THE RIGHT SIDE --> YOU HAVEN'T POSTED AN ACTUAL THOUGHT IN MONTHS. I'LL THROW IN SOME OLD FUCKING ZOO YORK TAPE IF I NEED TO SEE SKATE FOOTAGE. AND IF I WANNA SEE PICS OF DOGS EATING PIZZA, I'LL GO UPSTAIRS AND FEED MY DOG SOME FUCKING PIZZA. THEN TAKE A PICTURE OF IT, THEN LOOK AT IT.FUCK.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THESE KIDS. MOST PEOPLE MIGHT SAY, WHO GIVES A FUCK? AND TO BE HONEST, I DON'T REALLY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE. BUT I F YOU DON'T THINK THAT 3RD KID FROM THE LEFT IN THE FRONT ROW WITH THAT FUCKING CRANBERRY SWEATER VEST DIDN'T TURN OUT TO BE AN ARSONIST OR SOMETHING YOUR DELUSIONAL. ALSO, THE 3RD KID OVER FROM THE RIGHT IN THE FRONT ROW IS MOST LIKELY A SHAREHOLDER FOR MICROSOFT. AND THE KID IN THE MIDDLE, IN THE SECOND ROW MOVED TO RHODE ISLAND AND GOT A SEX CHANGE. IT HAPPENED.